Download Torrent Star Wars The Phantom Menace

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Star Wars Episodes I, II and III disappoint me. For me, the they're in love with scenery and expense and try to make up for it with plodding exposition. They need editing. I think I would enjoy something like The Phantom Edit. But how do I get ahold of it? Is it the best edit? Are there other fan edits of I, II and III that are worth seeking out? And how do I get and watch them?
posted by artlung to Media & Arts (16 answers total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
The answer to every question of the form 'how do I get ahold of x', where x is any media object that can be represented in digital form, is 'BitTorrent'.
(BitTorrent is a protocol, not a program—meaning that you can use any number of different BitTorrent clients to download torrents. I recommend µTorrent.)
posted by ixohoxi at 1:59 PM on September 5, 2010 [2 favorites]

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Are these the droids you're looking for?
posted by griphus at 2:07 PM on September 5, 2010 [3 favorites]

It's on the pirate bay.
posted by beerbajay at 2:22 PM on September 5, 2010

The rifftrax versions are substantially more watchable.
posted by rr at 2:24 PM on September 5, 2010

This is a bit tangential, and you may have already seen this, but redlettermedia is a guy on Youtube who has done a couple of really in-depth, hilarious, and scathing reviews of the Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones.
The Phantom Menace review.
Attack of the Clones review.
I hated the movies too and you might find these reviews illuminating with regards to just why they suck. I found it articulated well many things that bothered me that I couldn't quite put my finger on.
NOTE: the guy has a certain.. schtick and on-going serial killer joke that some find annoying. Personally I just ignore those parts.
posted by marble at 2:49 PM on September 5, 2010 [5 favorites]

I'll second marble -- watch those reviews instead, and curse the day the prequels were conceived in the mind of Lucas. Then decide if you still want to watch edited versions. I just try to forget they ever existed.
posted by teedee2000 at 5:10 PM on September 5, 2010 [1 favorite]

For a completely different sort of edit, if it is generally the sort of thing you do, you might consider playing lego star wars. Plodding dialogue is..completely dispensed with.
posted by advil at 5:56 PM on September 5, 2010

FWIW, The Clone Wars animated series on Cartoon Network is a much better take on the events of the prequels and helps ameliorate some of their worst flaws. I don't watch it regualrly, but the episodes I've seen have fleshed out the characters a little better (especially Anakin's) so that when I happen to catch Revenge of The Shit now, I actually feel sad about Anakin's descent into the Dark Side, because you can see glimpses of his potential for good that was hyped in The Phantom Menace that Lucas failed to show in Attack of the Clowns and Revenge of The Shit.
posted by KingEdRa at 5:57 PM on September 5, 2010

Based on your age, you should outlive Lucas by 3 decades or so. If you're patient, you can just wait for someone more competent to make new Star Wars movies without his interference (this is what I'm doing).
posted by deadweightloss at 5:59 PM on September 5, 2010 [6 favorites]

Thirding marble. The Phantom Menace review is perfectly spot-on.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:27 PM on September 5, 2010

BITTORRENT. You'll find whatever you need by googling it with '+torrent' in your search. ixohoxi recommended a windows tracker. For Linux or Mac, try Transmission.
I'd also recommend re-watching Return Of The Jedi sometime to get a better feel for Lucas' work. Huge chunks of Jedi are sub-par in comparison to the original Star Wars and Empire Strikes Back. I did watch the three prequels in theaters when they were released, but I knew going in that they'd suck, and they did. Return Of The Jedi was a reminder to keep my expectations low.
The most amazing thing about George Lucas, beside the fact that he managed to make two of the best movies of all time, is that he also managed to get horrendous acting out of truly amazing actors. Look at the list of talent in the prequels. Look at what he got from them. That shit was baaaaaaaaaaad.
posted by 2oh1 at 10:40 PM on September 5, 2010

The answer to every question of the form 'how do I get ahold of x', where x is any media object that can be represented in digital form, is 'BitTorrent'.
Many questions, most questions, but not every one. Depending on what you're looking for, you might be more likely to find it on Youtube, at archive.org, via interlibrary loan, on Rapidshare/Megaupload/etc. sites, etc.
posted by box at 6:46 AM on September 6, 2010

I think the thing with the prequels is that there is interesting stuff in them, some good moments, and some great visuals. The 'lego pieces' are there, but deployed badly and flabbily.
Currently using a torrent tool to download 'Phantom Edit' and 'Attack of the Phantom' and hoping for the best. Sounds like III has not been addressed, but it could use some trimming as well.
The suggestion to lower expectations or watch reviews or watch it with rifftrax are not what I was asking, but I appreciate the the thought. I have seen the redlettermedia reviews, funny, good. But criticism is not the same thing as just getting it done and turning lemons into lemonade. I'm crossing my fingers that the Phantom Edit versions are worth it.
posted by artlung at 9:28 AM on September 6, 2010

Basically, when Gary Kurtz left after Empire, the series started to fall apart. See this recent interview in the LA Times.
posted by teedee2000 at 10:55 PM on September 8, 2010

I was able to get a hold of a torrent of The Phantom Edit and Attack of the Phantom and turn them into DVDs. The quality is okay, not incredible. Thanks to all who helped out!
posted by artlung at 7:28 AM on September 12, 2010

Watch Star Wars The Phantom Menace


Star
Sorry I'm late to the party, but you should check out fanedit.org. You'll find exactly what you are after there (and more, I suspect).
posted by Sutekh at 8:31 AM on September 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

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Platforms:PC, PlayStation
Publisher:LucasArts
Developer:Big Ape Productions
Genres:3D Shooter / Third-Person Shooter
Release Date:May 19, 1999
Game Modes:Singleplayer

A long time ago, in a dopey third-person shooter based on the Star Wars license…

It doesn’t take much play time to realize that Star Wars: The Phantom Menace was a console game that got ported on the computer. It was supposedly developed as a dual platform title, but it’s apparent that the Playstation’s relatively meager power and simple controls were the major driving force behind the game’s development. That wouldn’t necessarily be a terrible thing if the game didn’t just stink outright.

Download Torrent Star Wars The Phantom Menace Full

Reasons for this are multiple, but it mainly boils down to crappy controls and the god-awful level design. Some levels are linear action romps where you whack the attack button a lot and replay jumping puzzles ad nauseum. The lightsaber battles are simple, as are the woefully simplistic shooting bits. There are moments when, if the levels aren’t annoying you to into rage-quitting, they are boring you to tears. It was a tie vote between the jumping puzzles and sitting through a Jar Jar Binks/Fran Drescher production of Waiting for Godot. For instance, be prepared to spend the better part of an evening hopping across sinking platforms in one insidious room of Naboo’s undersea city, then enjoying the long cutscenes which you cannot skip.

As if to make up for forcing you to endure jumping puzzles, the game offers lightsaber battles as a distraction. However cinematic and nicely animated they might be, lightsaber combat is hampered by the goofy controls and inability to dodge fire effectively, making it unavoidable that your character slowly bleeds hit points. The gunplay is even more dull, although there are some nifty bombs and a non-lethal “Force push” to stun your enemies. Other times the game plays like a crappy RPG, like when you drill through dialogue trees and run little quests like you’re Jedi FedEx.

* * *

Phantom Menace marches in lockstep with the movie, plot point for plot point. Although there are no real surprises if you’ve seen the movie (and who hasn’t?), there are some moderately engaging detours along the way. You get to run around Coruscant (which looks suspiciously like The Fifth Element’s New York City), strike a deal with Jabba the Hutt, talk to everyone and their uncle in Mos Espa, and float around in some of those Gungan fishbowl globes.

The graphics are a mix of cool and meh, particularly the low-poly character animations, but they get the job done and they’re PlayStation friendly. Hands down, the explosions seen as droids fall into a hundred pieces are very satisfying the first few times. The particle effects are great, and also the sound, from the music to the ambient noise to the voicework. Curiously enough, the most grating characters from the movie are voiced by their actual actors: Jar Jar, Watto, and Anakin will all sound familiar. But neither Liam Neeson nor Ewan MacGregor sound anything like the real deal.

In the first two thirds of the game, you play one of the Jedi (always conveniently separated from each other) for long stretches at a time. But there are some curious narrative shifts later in the game which are pretty jarring. For instance, it’s not particularly exciting to play Panaka, especially since this is one of the escort levels in which you have to defend a character who wanders around as oblivious as Mr. Magoo. The simple combat interface makes the climactic Darth Maul battle merely tedious, although it certainly looks good enough that you won’t mind having to replay it the first twenty times.

System Requirements: Pentium II 233 MHz, 32 MB RAM, Win95


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